July the 22nd -in which I celebrate my birthday.

And finally the day has come!
I’m pretty much not a fun maker and not that I terribly suck at it either
Just that I don’t know what to do
I’m very anxious about this really
Ageing scares me almost to death
I can’t tell why I’m realizing it now when its been happening all year long
Maybe it’s because the reality of a year hits harder
Pins the nails to the head
Slaps you badly
And ensures it settles in you

So today is my birthday 😄
I’m seated here just reflecting
And meditating
What’s been good, what’s been bad
What’s been a blessing, what’s been a curse
Who’s been my joy, who’s been my sorrow
What were my best and worst moments
My triumphant testimonies
My life lessons
What do I know now that I didn’t know then
What do I regret
In my 18years of life now just turning 19

Deep down
I don’t feel like the most successful person around
Who stuck to their word
Who saw their promises through
Who never let no one down
I see all those shortcomings
Sometimes I was obsessed with the wrong things
I admit
When I thought I was fighting for the greater good, I ended up fighting for the wrong teams
Unashamedly blamed it on others
It was always on them
Something that they did or didn’t do
I’d feel like I’m in the wrong league

So this is where I jump up and down with joy
Growing older carries along many blessings
I know better
I understand why
I choose who and with whom
I deeply think of where and when
I can figure out how
Can it get any better than that?
For a life that’s as treasured as this
A walking testimony
A receiver of everyday grace
A believer of God

A praying soul that this blessing of another year becomes even better
Not with all bunnies and rainbows
But with strength
With wisdom
Kindness and



Author: laurahstar

Poetry.Deep musings.Just thoughts that might help one day

3 thoughts on “July the 22nd -in which I celebrate my birthday.”

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